Monday, March 15, 2010

It's Not Funny BOSS

It has been a while since I wrote something and then I read someone lament about the slow death that his blog was going through; it woke me up from my stupor and complacency (no writer's block, pure ennui). Let's see if I can string some pearls of humorous tid bits today (though I am not too hopeful).

There is nothing normal about my life these days. Its topsy-turvy and I can't figure why. I have never been so busy yet so free in my head. I run to office and then I run back and the next day I run back and in between I eat and sleep and yes sometime at work I do take a breather and the cycle continues. I am stuck and I can't run too fast and far.

I am unable to unlock the secret of this mysterious situation. I thought food would assuage it, tried binging - no luck (I feel a bit fat). Tried finding solace in sports and soaps - failed, them I have also tried watching almost all the Oscar winning movies to keep with the latest in the movie business and get the zing but still feel parched (and depressed). Ahh... the search is still on. Being a teetotaler is difficult.

What is it that could help me?  The answer my friend is a clever joke.

1) A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'

A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

2) Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'

Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'

3) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 meters away?'

'Well,' replied the jay walker, 'I hope it's having better luck than me.

4) Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.

Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'

The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.


Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha ha !!!

Anonymous said...

not too bad :)